Does your child have a favourite story?  A story book that you need to read every night?  And honestly you can memorise the whole story and was hoping your child won’t pick up that same story book again.

My son has lots of favourite stories and every night we sit at a cozy reading corner in his room, going through books.  I love that time with him, when he has me all to himself.  It’s a nice way to end the day with your child, reading a book, talking about the book, and have some cuddles before they start to squirm away from under your arms, ha!

Lately, at our story time, I decided to do something different.  JD loves drawing, painting, making things.  He is good with his hands and he has great imagination which usually translates into something quite remarkable.

So last week, we took out his scrap book, some marker pens and I got him to make up a story of his own.  He started by making up one sentence, then me adding another sentence, then him, then me again…

As he came up with his story, I also encouraged him to draw it out concurrently.  And that went on for a good 30 minutes. 

He started telling me a story about the His Rockets and The 3 Aliens.

I can’t remember the whole story, but it had something to do with his rocket flying into the space, landed on planet Mars, and he was drawing lots and lots of line to show me the “best” way to reach Mars.

Then there were some aliens that have long arms, long legs, sharp teeth…that came to look for the monsters.

Finally there was a big bang, and there were meteorites flying everywhere!

It was great fun.   My objective was to give him the opportunity to create a story of his own, illustrate, explain his thoughts, imaginations all by putting his pictures into words.

But it can also be an opportunity to broaden your child’s knowledge on topics of their interests, their volcabulary, explaining to them how the universe works by making it all exciting and most importantly in the way they can understand and comprehend.

It was spur of a moment thing, different, fun and it makes my child happy! 

My next project is helping JD to create a book of his own, that is another post next time.

A number of weeks ago, JD and I planted lots of new flower and vegetable seedlings in our garden.  Every day he waters the plant, watch them grow, using his measuring tape to measure the growth of the vegies.

Well they are all growing happily, but we haven’t harvested the vegetables to eat yet, because we thought we will let the lettuce grow a bit bigger.

But here comes the little food monster, whom has found her own way to the food source!  Yes, she found them.  And we couldn’t stop her.  She thought this is the coolest thing.  Food, glorious food!  She has food within reach everywhere, even when she is in the garden playing!  Yee ha!  I think this girl will never go hungry.  Just wait till the day she can make her own sandwich.  Perhaps I need to lock the fridge, wahaha!

Some time ago, I began to realise and accept that I have too many things to do and handle in a day.  I work 4 days a week, most days from 8am to 5.30pm.  Whilst I run my own family daycare, a one man show no doubt, being my own boss, the truth is, sometimes the flexibility of working to my own hours, or the needs of my family is easier said than done.  And before I know, I came to see that while working for myself is great, it is very easy to fall into a trap of overworking beyond the hours I have set for myself.

So, more often than not, I start to yearn for more hours in a day, for more energy so that I could do more or simply to just do catching up.  The truth is I was struggling to keep up with all that I have to do, run, achieve in a day.  I started to notice myself falling behind a lot of my tasks, constantly trying to catch up when things around me are moving faster than I want.

Housework was one area where I just could not keep up with.  The bedrooms, changing sheets, bathrooms, the toilets, the vacuuming, moping, laundry, ironing, tidying up, cleaning up.  And as we know children are dirty by nature.  They are constantly messy.  So cleaning really needs to be done.  I am not particular about complete cleanliness, but maintaining a clean and safe environment is a primary requirement for running a daycare.

While I do the necessities, other house work were left on the back burners.  At one stage, for weeks, I have baskets of clean laundry sitting at the room waiting for me to fold and put away.  Honestly, my kids were becoming used to picking their clean clothes straight out from the laundry basket!  I was just short of asking my kids to turn their undies inside out so they can wear it one more day, haha, kidding!     

Then there was planning the meals every week.  I look after 4 to 5 children a day in my family daycare and I also provide them with lunch and snacks.  So I always cook extra the night before and have the extras for lunch the next day.  That requires me to plan and shop every week.  With that meal planning, I have to make sure we have enough dairy, calcium, protein, carbo, fruits and vegies in their tums tums each week.   I must admit some nights I get so tired, that I really didn’t feel like cooking at all.

Some nights I just want to have take outs, KFC or anything just so that I didn’t need to cook.

Then there’s the garden that needs to be kept tidy.  Sweeping the yard is something I will do only when it really needs to be done.  Still, it needs to be done.

Or car washing.  Oh, I don’t like this job because I have got a big car.  The last time I washed, dry, waxed, polished, vacuumed the car…..it took me a whole 3 hours!  Yes one afternoon gone.

Then there’s also paperwork.  Paperwork of my family daycare business, the quarterly tax statement, the bills, the receipts, notes to parents, update on each child’s development and etc.  

Not fortgetting also writing up, planning the weekly daycare programme.  The theme, the arts and craft activities, the learning session, the language lesson and so forth.  It’s a legislated requirement that we provide a complete programme of play and learn experience, which takes into account of all the skills a child need.  Whilst I have lots of resources for me to pick my ideas, but it takes time and energy to carefully plan out a programme that cater for a child’s need for indoor, outdoor experience, opportunity for them to develop their fine, gross motor skills, spatial awareness, logic, maths, science and so forth.

Then there are other things like coaching JD with his learning, writing, reading and making sure we have a right balance between learn and play.  On top of that there’s swimming, gymnastics which I try to fit in around my working hours and somehow they either all fall into my off day or half of Saturday morning.

There is really a lot to do, to think, to manage and handle every day, every week, every month.  Too much I must say.  I started to struggle.  Really struggle.  I get frustrated with myself for not being able to gain some form of control.  By nature, I am organised, efficient and I get the jobs done.  But it became all a bit much lately.

So, in the last 4-5 months, I started to struggle.  I just could not keep up with it.  My plate was too full, and I became lost.  Paperwork, bills, notes, unopened letters started piling up.  Clutters started to appear.  I lost the time to catch up on emails, with friends and I became very tired.  Instead of working 4 days a week, it became like 7 days a week.  It wasn’t good.  It was affecting me badly.  I no longer enjoyed it. 

So, in the last holiday when I had some time to think, plan, reorganise…I decided that I need to regain some control!  But I can’t regain it, if I don’t ask for help.  So I did.  I decided to delegate some tasks to various people that are paid to do their jobs well.

I called up a house cleaning agency.  I got 2 ladies out to my place and gave me house a big spring clean from head to toe, every surfaces, cupboards, shelves wipe, every inch of carpet vacummed, every tiles washed and moped…it was good.  And now, every fortnight, the 2 ladies come with their buckets, mops, while I go out of the house for 2 hours!  And they also iron the husband’s business shirts for me, yay!  The feeling of coming back to a clean home is great.  But what makes it even greater was I now have 2 bonus hours to do something else when I would have used it for cleaning previously. 

The truth is also I never had to clean my own office when I was working for someone else previously.  Now that home is my work, my office, the same should apply.  So that was what I did.  And I felt quite liberated when I did it.

As for my garden, my usual lawnmower guy will do the clean up for me when it is needed. 

My car, it’s time to call up the same guy that I have called previously to come back.  With 3 hours of car washing, I could use that time for something better.  Like reading a book, playing with my kids, go to the gym, go for a massage..or just sit around and do nothing.  That would be good.

Now, I could use it to catch up on the paperwork, a bit more time and energy to plan the weeks ahead, some time to stop and chat, catching up on emails, phone calls. 

But one good thing also is I am not this over tired, knackered, exhausted mum, wife half slumped on the couch in the evening…I could watch a show, a movie with my husband, chat about the funny things that happened during the day, laughed at the kids, read them a few books, read a book myself, have a cuddle, share a kiss, eat a tub of ice cream with the husband…rather than just going off to bed not long after the kids. 

On a more serious note….

The lesson learn is you don’t have to do everything yourself.  And it is okay if you are struggling as a mum.  It is also very okay, infact perfectly fine to ask someone for help or pay someone to do the job for you.  As women, by nature, we can become quite good at taking on lots of responsibilities and running with it.  We always have this list of things to do.  We always want to be on top of everything.  Better at everything we do.  Everything home made, home cooked crap.  We want to make sure everyone is happy and taken care of.  Perhaps deep down we are just going to crash, but we still keep it all together and make it work.  As women, wives, mothers, we run the house, we know where everything is, all programmed into our minds.  We are good at that.  We persevere, and the most, we whinge to a friend when it all gets too much.  And we throw a big tantrum before each monthly cycle.  But that cycle remains.

Fact is we can’t be good at everything.  We also can’t be perfect at everything.  Likewise, I am not perfect, because I don’t need to be perfect.  And if I am perfect, what pressure I am going to give to the other woman, mum next to me, because perhaps she is already feeling quite stress and overwhelmed by things around her.  That’s a realization I came to see recently.

So the truth is we are all limited in some ways.  I am limited.  I can’t do everything.  And if I don’t stop and breath, I would be burnt out in no time.  And I was already feeling it.

All this does not mean that my husband isn’t pulling his weight.  He try.  He takes the kids out regularly and give me a break.  He is a good man.  But he is already spending an average of 10-12 hours a day at work everyday, managing a group of people, I really can’t see how he would enjoy folding the clothes, washing the toilets, vacumming my car and etc for me.  Sometimes his day is no different to mine managing a group of 2,3,4 yo kids, just that his were the 20, 30, 40 yo kids!  They are all the same!

Finally, I made the decision.  Delegate, spend some cash and that buys me a bit of spare time and stress relief.

Importantly, I rewarded myself with a gift of time.  A reward for my own inadequacy and inability to be all I like to be.   And I look at that positively.

Lately JD and I have spent a bit of time learning about our origins, culture, countries, languages we speak, the colour of our skin, eyes, hair and etc.  It’s a great topic to learn but sometimes it can get quite confusing for him at times.

On Monday, I brought JD and all his little friends to a playgroup.  But because we had a non-English speaking child in our group, I had to speak a fair bir of Mandarin that day.  A friend overheard me speaking in another language and got curious.

Later on, as we were heading home, the rain started to pour and my friend helped to look after JD while I escorted the other little ones to the car first.

Today my friend told me this little conversation they had:

L: So Jayden, do you speak Mandarin too?

JD: Oh no, sorry.  We are finished with all the Mandarins now.  We have only got oranges left at home. 

Hahahaha! 

JD’s kindy organised a morning tea for all the mums.  Earlier that week, a little note was posted on the notice board saying “Dear mum, you have been so busy, come and enjoy a relaxing morning tea with us on Friday.”

When I turned up that morning, I was more than happy to see all the other mums there, but also because the teachers have told all the little 4yos that:

“Yes, your mum will be here for morning tea”

“But, you are to remain in the classroom”

“This is a special time and opportunity for your mum have a little rest”

“Only mums are allowed those yummy cakes, Tim Tams, chocolate swiss rolls”

“They are for your mum”

Keekee, that was nice!

Ah, so for 45 mins, I got to mingle, chat with other mums with a cup of hot tea and a slice of cake.  I got to see the beautiful flowers each of the 18 kids have made and carefully “planted” in the kindy’s ground.  I also received a special gift and drawing by my son at the end of the morning tea.

My son also said this about me.  And lucky me.  My son did not forget the fact that I came with a pair of boobs too.  I love this drawing because previously mummy just had a belly button.  Heehee.

It was nice to know that on this Mother’s Day, the teachers in school have made this day extra special for us.

Then on the same night, I went out to a local restaurant with a group of mums from JD’s kindy, altogether 10 of us.  Earlier in the year when kindy started, all of us have exhanged addresses, phone numbers, email address and etc.  As our children get to know one another, as mums, we also relaised that it was important for us to know one another.  We each have a contact list of all the 18 mums in the group.  I have even got the list saved on my desktop as I refer to it quite regularly. 

I found that so often, as mums, we get so busy rushing in and out of kindy ground before and after school.  Sometimes it’s hard for us to get any more than 2 sentences in, apart from the usual “Hi, how you going, see you later!”  Sometimes also due to our busy work schedule, we don’t have the opportunity to stop and chat. 

The dinner was so that we can talk more to one another at a different level.  We get to know each other’s name and we can stop introducing ourselves as “Hi, I am Jayden’s mum”.  It can be such a common thing to do.  I picked up a few mums along the way because I am almost driving a school bus, well, a 7 seater car is pretty good for car pooling.  I was the skipper for that night as I don’t drink because I just can’t and I am totally hopeless with anything alcoholic.

In the last school holiday, we had organised a few group play session for the kids and everything has been done with a “send” button on the email.  This time round, with the dinner, another lady and I organised to have the emails sent out 2-3 weeks ago.  We met at a local restaurant, and coincidentally, I also bumped into Karen whom was also there for a girl’s night out with all the mums from her son’s kindy.  Cool!

We spent almost a whole evening at the restaurant, and we had to reluctantly peel ourselves away from the seat, as the restaurant were starting to pack up and in the process of stacking up the tables and chairs. 

It was a good night. A night when I got to know the other mums on a more personal level.  There were even a few of us when English was not the first language, and we all got along just really well.  I talked till my voice turned coarse.  Yes, lots to talk about.  Kids.  Behaviours.  Shopping centres tantrums.  Kids fears.  Plans for baby no.3 or 4.  Or not.  Vasectomy.  Ummm.  Yes, our conversations can get pretty colourful when you have 10 women together and whom were long overdue for a night out to themselves.

I would want to do it again.  It was good.  It was fun.  It was great to be surrounded by a bunch of girls.  Because lately, I find myself needing more and more of genuine female friendships.  Ladies whom are experiencing and going through the every day experience. 

Hands up if you get breakfast in bed.

No, I didn’t.  But I slept in till 8.10am.  And my 2 little kids ran into my room, burst the door opened, the older one exclaiming “Happy mother’s day” and the younger one climbing into my bed wanting to have a horse ride on my legs. 

That was how I enjoyed my mother’s day morning.  I wasn’t fancy about the breakfast in bed, because honestly it just wasn’t practical with 2 young kids in my bed.  And I would be way too lazy to clean up the bread crumbs in bed.  I didn’t want any special presents, because I didn’t want any.  I was just happy, contended with I have.  I really am.  But I was also too lazy to think about what I really want.  That’s me.

I was just happy that JD came to church with me this morning.  He sat next to me, listening to what all the kids talked about their mums at the service.  And he put his hand on my shoulder when the pastor prayed for the mothers.

I am thankful that I have a mother.  And if not for my grandmother, I wouldn’t have my mother.  And because of my mother, I can be here to experience motherhood.

Being a mother is a super job.  You need to have so many skills.  Birthing.  Mothering.  Nursing.  Pediatrician.  Transportation.  Cooking.  Management.  Accounting.  Analysing.  Referee.  Story telling.  Writing.  Reading.  Mending.  Energy.  Talking.  Playing.  Teaching.  Disciplining.  Singing.  Dancing.  Walking.  Running.  Listening.  Marketing.  Planning.  Craft.  Science.  Oh, it’s a multi-disciplinary task. 

So, I take my hat off to all mothers out there.  Because it can be a damn difficult job some days, and you still wake up every day to continue on with this task.  I still do it everyday, some days I feel like I had enough after a big day, and almost enough to roar at my kids, I am thankful for them for they have taught me patience, real patience.  I don’t find myself loving my kids any lesser.  If any, I love them everyday.  And I do.

So on this special mother’s day, I like to say a prayer for all the mothers out there as we have prayed in church this morning.

“Dear Lord, thank you for the mothers in our lives.  Thank you for my mother whom have birthed me, and for her in my life.  I pray for all mothers out there today.  That you give us the wisdom to be the role model for our children.  That in times of joy we give thanks to you.  In times for difficulty we also look to you for refuge and support.  I pray for to-be mums that are carrying their precious unborn child in them.  Look after them Lord.  For ladies whom have a desire to be a mum but time has not arrived, I pray for your intervention and miracles.  For the single mums out there, oh Lord, look after them for what they have to deal with in a day.  I also pray for the mother-in-laws, cause they get quite a bad rap too.  And Mother’s Day can sometimes be a bittersweet moment for some of us.  For those that might be mourning the loss of their mothers, or a child, I also pray for you.  Or some of us that might have a difficult relationship with our mother/child, I also pray for you.  So, help us Lord, to fulfill this task.  To do it gladfuly and joyfully everyday.”

But remember, it doesn’t need to be Mother’s Day for you to say thanks to mum.  Give them a call everyday or often when you can.  A quick hello, a hug, a cuddle, a bear hug, a pat, bake her a cake because mums would never get tired of that.

I am happy I had a great day with my husband and my kids.  Having a simple sandwich for lunch at home as restaurants would be way too crowded, playing wii in the afternoon, eating a slice of chocolate cake, my husband made me dinner…I am thankful for this day.  For the pleasure of being a mother.  Thank you ma!

Oh, I am not even sure where to start.  20 months old is such a happening for her. 

She can be…

Funny. Entertaining. Full of character.  Ferocious at times.  Intense.  Doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  Negotiative.  Cute.  Annoying at times.  Cheerful.  At times sulky.  Eat like a horse.  Drink like a fountain.  Always wanting to be different.  Always wanting to try.  Never want to miss out, no way! 

She is a little package, petite for her size, but so full of character.  That at times, I just stand quietly and watch this little person in action.  At times, I am just thankful for the fact that she already knows her stand at just 20 months old.  Just in the right balance is fine. 

She loves her brother.  She is always looking for him.  She looks for him first thing in the morning.  She always take an extra share of food for her brother.  She is always calling out for “哥哥”（brother) in the house.  When she asks me for something, be it food, drink, books, toys, clothes, bathtime, she will ask the same for her brother.   Her way of asking is always “Please, ta, 哥哥！“  She will always take 2 of everything, one of her, one for 哥哥.

They enjoy their shower time together, when JD will wash her hair and she will pour bucketful of water on JD.  The house is noisy, with the two of them talking, laughing, giggling, playing in the backyard…oh, it’s great to see the two of them together. 

As Chloe has an older brother as role model, this girl has no fear at times.  She can be really grotty when she plays in the backyard.  She runs around with no shoes.  She is always bare feet when she plays in the garden.  She has no care if her pants are all wet and dirty from their little “sand n water” science experiment in the backyard, she plays till the sun set!  She runs,  She rolls around on the grass.  She chase the birds.  She laughs out loud when she is happy.  She would shout from the garden “Mummy, look, this…” when she sees something really cool in the garden bed, i.e. snails!   A quick kiss and a hug is all she needs when she falls.  Then she is off again.  She is a bundle full of character, and not to forget, energy too!

She watches my every move.  She sees me turning on the dishwasher.  Putting the dishes away.  She sees me using the same colour cloth everytime to wipe the table.  She sees me dressed and putting on my make up.  She knows my favourite pair of red shoes.  She sits at the stool next to me every morning.  She knows the colour of lipstick I would use.  The particular eye shadow I like.  And she try to do the same, playing with my lipstick, brush and etc.  She knows me. 

Before I know.  She helps me to put the dishes away.  She wipes the mess at the kids dinner table for me.  She tells me if there is a mess.  She packs up the playroom.  She is usually the first to pack up, to clean, to tidy.  She does it gladfully, everyday.  I feel a sense of comfort, gladfulness, and encouragement when I see her eagerness.  I know she has been observing, learning through our daily routine.  I love it when I hear her singing to herself “Pa way (pack away), pa way (pack away), da to pa toys way (time to pack the toys away)!”

That also explains her fondness with dressing up.  Pants.  Dresses. Skirts. Tights, Socks.  Oversize shirts.  Oversize pants.  Hats. Sunglasses.  She loves the dress up corner.   Just this morning, she decided that putting a pair of mismatched socks over her pair of tights look pretty good.  Well, it’s her choice and I respected that.  And not forgetting she walked into daycare the other day with a summer dress, her winter pyjama pants, a pair of green fluffy slippers and 2 hairclips on her very fine hair.

She knows what I will do when she misbehaves.  She knows when I look at her a certain way.  She will look away from me and drop her head when she is wrong.  She gives me a cuddle to say she is sorry.  We cuddle.  We forgive.  We move on. 

She learns fast.  Just like how we accidentally toilet train her with the poop business.  Thinking of just giving it a shot.  She got it pretty quickly.  Already helping us to cut back on nappy costs since she is usually on cloth diaper.  She now sits on the throne, and does her poop everyday.  She runs to the toilet.  Pull her pants down, climb on the stool to reach her throne…quite cool really, one less thing I need to do :)  And we all know that, changing pooey nappies can sometimes be a potent business, complete with gloves and masks.  Also, I hate pooey nappies especially when they have past the new born stage.

She learns and takes instructions in both languages.  I always speak to her in Mandarin that it almost feel foreign to me if I speak English to her.  It just doesn’t feel right anymore.  Recently, I heard her chanting “洗手！洗手！”（wash hands) when I told her it was dinner time.  She knows her body parts in Mandarin and her clarity is getting better each day.  But I have a feeling English might still be the more dominant language in her, as she is exposed to more English in the environment we are in.  But, I am glad I have sowed the seeds in her and I hope we can keep going with it.

20 months old is a fun age.  She is full of character.  Totally carefree.  Totally happy.  I love her.  I love watching her.  I enjoy this time I have with her.