It is a wonderful feeling to know I have reached the 35 weeks mark.  Because at some point we thought I would never reach this stage. 

The week started with me having a mild gastro, and I was sick in bed for a day.  I suddenly lost my appetitie, nauseous, dizziness, hot and cold…and I am thankful it happened during the extended weekend. 

I am also beginning to feel really tired.  My night time sleep has suddenly turned horrendous, when my body temperature is having a hard time regulating to the change in weather.  I wake up far too may times in a night, too hot, too cold, toss, turn, fall asleep for a few hours, wake up and the cycle continues.  I am very sensitive to noises from the outside, a car driving past and I would be wide awake.  The neighbour comes home at 2am, and I would be up.  My kids stir in their sleep 3 rooms down the hall way and I would be up again.  Rather annoying.

I suspect the little monkey has turned head down, so that also explains my frequent waking at night.  I can tell the hands, feet, little bottom sticking out by its movements.   I can even feel my baby having hiccups!

So far the bump is nice and compact.  But I would not be too surprised if it grows even more in the next few weeks.   I have already reached the maximum weight gain and measurement when I had Chloe, so third time round this baby might just push it up a bit more.   But thank goodness the weight gain is no where as much as the time when I had JD.  I would not even reveal exactly how heavy I was then, but it was frightening, ha!  But let’s just say it was already in the mid 60s range!

Chloe is funny.  There’s never a dull moment with her at home.  She likes to explore, question, try new things and lately she is into dress ups.

A week ago, on a Friday morning, I was busy cleaning up the pantry.  So I left the 2 kids to their own fun.  I had a vague idea of what they were up to, but as long as they were playing nicely, I really don’t pay much attention to it.  Sometimes when kids are having fun, it’s better we let them be, and I certainly did because I was on a mission to clean up my pantry drawers!

Then from the background, I heard a “click clock click clock” sound as someone walked on the floorboard in the house.  I peeped from the kitchen and I saw this.  Haha, it was so funny, that I quickly grabbed my camera and she was cheeky enough to pose for me.  Classic!

See that pair of red wooden clogs she is wearing.  She could even run in it and not falling over once!

(Picture taken on 17th April 09.  Chloe found the pair of wooden clogs, a present from my 2nd aunt in Malacca.  It was a present for JD when he was about 18 mths old when we visited Malaysia.  But now Chloe is right into it. )

How about this? Remind you of the The Blues Brothers?

Not long later I went back to my cleaning in the kitchen.  After a while, I saw her stood outside the kitchen as she mumbled something like “I am bringing baby for walk”…and I laughed when I saw this!

(Picture taken on 17th April.  I love the way she pose with her legs.  And she found a sports medal in the dress up corner and hung it over her neck as accessory).

Then she found a handbag, and this was such a candid shot.  Because she looks so busy trying to balance the handbag on her shoulder, one hand juggling the stroller, and one hand trying very hard to insert a letter into the back of the stroller.  She said she “needed to send a letter like mummy”.

Well life is busy for her, because apart from caring for a little baby in the stroller, she also has another bigger baby to handle.  Here she was very busy juggling everything, and at the same time patting the head of her other baby saying “Here, good baby, good baby, don’t cry”. 

Life is so colourful with her around.  And when I have the 2 of them at home together during the school holidays, it gets even more creative between the 2 of them.

My pregnancy has been going relatively smooth since we past the 12 weeks mark.  My nauseous subsided, I regained my energy, and life was as normal.  And that’s the way I think a normal and healthy pregnancy should be.  Except I am trying to grow another life in me. 

But when we reached the 28 weeks a while ago, I started having many episodes of spotting.  The spotting episodes range from just light to sometimes heavy and sometimes I get clots which was by far the most alarming.  At first it did not concern me as I thought it could just be me over exerting myself.  Well, it must have been, since I have 2 young kids, still working, and continuing with all my daily activities.

The first time I had the spotting at 28 weeks, I just went straight to bed and it stopped overnight.  Then it started again a few days later.  The second time round I checked with my obstetrician and after a thorough check, everything seems fine.  However, the weeks following the first episode just kept repeating itself, and everytime it happened, I would be on the phone with my doctor’s midwife.  By the third time, I was asked to go in for another major anatomy scan to make sure nothing was missed previously.  Everytime, the check up turned up fine and my doctor would reassure me all is well with my baby and me.

I must admit,  by the 3rd and 4th occurance, I was starting to get worried.  When I hit the 30 weeks mark, it happened again one evening.  That night after a chat to my midwife, she asked to see me straight away in the hospital ward.  It was just past 8pm, and the kids have just gone to bed.  So my husband picked up the kids from their bed, buckled them into their car seats and we drove to the hospital.  The kids remained asleep, and we put them into the double pram and pushed them into the ward.

My doctor whom has just finished a caesarian surgery at 8.30pm that evening came up to see me straight away.  I was strapped on to all kinds of machines to check the baby’s heartbeat, movement, my blood pressure, my placenta, fluid, sac and many many other bits and pieces.  He was thorough, checked everything internally, externally, before sitting down next to me to ask me my biggest worry.  Immediately I blurted out “Pre-term labour!”.  He acknowledged and understood my concern because we spoke about it when I first had my spotting at 28 weeks.

At that time, we even looked into the option of giving me steriod injections to speed up my baby’s lung development (in case of pre-term labour), and admitting me into the hospital for bed rest. 

Somehow we pulled through each epispode.  We never really knew the cause of the constant spotting, except to keep a close eye on it and for my doctor to see me every week.   Apparently, most women will go through some spotting episodes during pregnancy, and sometimes the cause is never known.  It can happen in early, midway through pregnancy.  In most cases, it turned out fine at the end and most women would safely go through a full term pregnancy.

The hardest part of all these is being far away from family, when physical help and support is not always readily available.  I wanted to speak to someone so badly, someone that has gone through a similar thing, a person that understood my fear, concerns, and someone to reassure me and give me cuddles for strength to go on. 

I know for a fact my family cannot be physically next to me, but I told my eldest sister about my worries.  She chat with me everyday over the internet, and I found strength and distraction from my worries in that. 

But, I still had to do a few things to get myself through that 4 weeks…

• Take one week at a time.  Focus on the current day, current week.  Every extra week the baby stays in me is a blessing and bonus.  Do not think of the weeks ahead, and when I pull through each week, I give thanks and reward myself with a something little like an additional chocolate, cake, a new book or whatever I desire.
• Meditation.  In those quient moments in between JD’s school hours, Miss C’s nap time, I sat at a comfortable place, and talked to my baby.  I imagined my baby growing, happy, smiling, securely tucked in my “indoor heated pool” (tummy) and paint a most reassuring picture for my mind.
• Talk to someone.  A friend, a sister, a family, a neighbour or someone you could rely on.  Someone that will not judge you, lecture you, but rather someone that is willing to spend the time to listen, reassure, support, joke with you and put a smile on you again.  In my case, my eldest sister was my main support and always there online when I needed to talk.  She was open, reassuring, non-judgemental and humorous!  Then I have a much older lady from my church that I talked to, and whom was a midwife for many years.  She was understanding, listened to my concerns and called me on a regular basis to see how I was coping.
• Be honest.  With yourself, your husband and doctor.  They will always try to understand and it’s only when I was honest with my husband that I found a relief.  I cried when I needed to and it’s through that I felt a release from my fear.  Sometimes in difficult times, I held back my tears, and quietly grief, but that was not a good choice.  Do not let anyone tell you that ”if a pregnant mother cry, her baby will be sad and emotionally disturbed later on in life”. 
• Get help in.  In my case, I relied on a few good friends from JD’s school.  The other mums helped me to send JD to school and bring him back.  I increased Chloe’s hours spent at daycare and just paid for it.  I bought some easy meals to reheat or cook.   Honestly, if financially permits, sometimes it is worthwhile to just spend the money and get help in.  At one stage, my husband also considered the option of getting in a nanny for just a few weeks.  In our case, because of a lack of family around, we had to get in a lot of outside help.
• Pray.  Prayer is powerful.  I rely on the support of my close friends, and their prayers.  I specifically let them know what to pray for and put my faith in it.
• Rest.  Whenever, wherever you can.  I know it is never easy to just put your feet up and rest, it is a lot easier said than done.  It takes me quite a bit of organizing before I could lie down and rest and this is especially so when you already have other young kids at home.  But once I settled the needs of my children, family, I would lie down on the sofa and read a book while they play next to me.  On the weekend when my husband is home, I would make use of it and rest more.  Sometimes, when there’s nothing that could be done, rest is the best remedy.
• Cross your legs.  This is just for fun and how I tell myself to cope with in a humorous way.  Humour works really well in difficult times and helps to keep you going!

Somehow, things started to settle down again after about 4 weeks and I started to regain my confidence.  The spotting finally stopped, and I did not feel like I had to keep sitting with my legs crossed at home constantly.

So at the end of the 32 weeks, I went out for dinner with all the pre-school mums and enjoyed myself.  I made it a point to dress up, put on make up, wear my heels and make myself feel good again.  It was also the end of my 32 weeks when I stopped work completely and put my childcare business license on hold for 12 months.

In preparation for the new baby to come, we recently shifted JD and Chloe into the same bedroom.

JD sleeps on the top bunk, Chloe at the bottom bunk.  It takes them at least half hour to fall asleep each night, because they talk, giggle, play, sing, dance around, say goodnight to each other a dozen times before one or the other is ready to quiet down. 

I usually leave them to their own accord for that half hour, unless it gets too noisy…so far, they have been great.  In the morning, they wake up the same time as one another, play in their room, sing, laugh before one starts to get bored and come looking for me.  Usually it is because they want their breakfast.

It has been great to make them share a room  because somehow I notice they have become closer. 

 They play a great deal together in their room and sometimes that could go on for a couple hours.  It’s a great relief for me and allowed me to do my own things too.  The only time they would come out of the room is either toilet break or that they are hungry. 

And if you are wondering what they are playing…the latest game has been the “mummy and baby” game as they get themselves ready for the baby sibling to come.  JD is the baby and Miss Chloe is the mummy!  They have everything from mummy bringing baby out for a walk, mummy making morning tea for baby, mummy putting baby to sleep, mummy going shopping with baby and etc etc.  It has kept them very well entertained for at least half a day everyday in the last week.

I hope in weeks to come, as the new baby joins us, JD and Chloe could continue to keep each other’s company, reassure, look after and be there for one another.

Last Thursday, just before JD’s school break for Easter and Term 1 school holidays, his pre-school held an Easter Hat Parade.

Over the week, JD said he had to draw a design of his hat on a piece of paper, think of what materials he need for the hat, and then each kid would sit down at the table to work on their hats.

He was very excited about it, and was particularly looking forward to me and Chloe watching him marched at the Easter hat parade. 

For a moment when I was watching him, I realise again what special time this is for him.  The sense of pride instill in him as we watched him from the side.  The way his sister cheered him on, it was priceless.  I feel so grateful for the opportunity to be there, and these special moments are to be treasured and grateful for.  He is only going to be 5 years old for so long, then he will grow up, but I am enjoying him so much for now. 

JD is enjoying school so much and I feel so happy for him.

But after school, my son is always hungry.  It’s a good thing I work from home, because I could prepare him a big serve of fruits, crackers, yoghurt for afternoon tea when he comes home from school at 3.30pm.  All that afternoon tea does not deter his dinner’s appetite, because he would eat again at 6pm and usually polish up his plate clean!

(Picture taken on 8th April 09.  JD loves seaweed, and he was munching away some seaweed crackers when he returned home from school that afternoon).

This is what happened when she had way toooo much fun…and falling asleep in the car just before lunch time on our way home from Gymbaroo.

(Photo taken on 9th April 2009.  Last day of Gymbaroo Term 1 and she dressed up as a fairy complete with necklaces, bangle and a tiara as they were all encouraged to dress up.  Everything apart from her dress were homemade during craft time). 

And seems like her “in car” sleeping style hasn’t varied much at all.  Ohm…And thank goodness she has a lot more hair compared to 2 years ago.

(Picture taken when Chloe was 5 months old)

I have been wanting to write about JD for so long, because he amazes me everyday in the conversations we have, the stuffs he is into, his love of school, his friends, his sense of humour and his love for his family.

Jayden loves his daddy, mummy and sister.  He treasures the time he has with us in the evenings, when daddy gets home from work.  I love the way his eyes light up when he realise it is the weekend that both daddy and mummy could spend time with him.  he loves the story time in the evening before bed…to all the little everyday things like the lunch we have packed for his lunch box, the little treats of chocolates or cakes I would buy for him ocassionally after school.  There is such a sweet contentment in my heart when after a dinner he enjoyed, he would turn around to say “Mummy, daddy this is so yummy, can you make this again everyday?  I love it everyday!” 

He is funny.  He tells silly jokes.  He does silly things for us to laugh about.  Not so long ago he ran into my room shouting “Mummy, mummy, where are my arms?  They are gone!”  The funny boy has tucked his arms into his shirt, and then decided that he could learn to move like a caterpillar on the floor by tucking his arms in…Then he burst out laughing, with the most beautiful smile and a pair of eyes that light up his face. 

(JD had a Pirate Day in school a week ago.  I quickly sewed a top for him, found a bandana, made him an eye patch, he found a telescope from his toy box and he was one mean pirate).

He loves school.  He talks about it all the time.  He relates well to his teachers and he likes them.  He has made a number of friends, and at this age, he really doesn’t care if his best friend is a girl that loves Barbie or fairies, as long as they could have a good play and laugh together.  Recently, he insisted on going to a friend’s place for a play.  I was unsure because I knew it would just be all girls and I said to him “Are you sure?  They are all into dolls, Barbie…you know, princess and fairy stuffs”.  Without a doubt, he replied “Well then, I will bring my Ben 10 figurine alone, and that will be my doll!”  Hee!  And on the weekend, he even chose to attend a party of a school friend though he was going to be the only 2 boys there.    The girls enjoy having him around and it was such a cute scene to watch when I saw all the girls running up to him at the party ”Jayden, Jayden, you are here!” 

He is also very understanding and caring.  JD understands well that my pregnancy has sometimes hinder me in some of the usual activities I could do with him and Chloe.  On the weekend, when he knows I am feeling weary, he will think of stuffs to do…then he will come to tell me “Mummy, we are going outside to play soccer with daddy, so you could have some peace and quiet”.  And not long ago, he even demonstrated to me the right posture to pick up things from the floor.  When I complained about my back pain, he said to me one day “Mummy, like this, my teacher said, kneel down on your knees, slowly, then pick up your keys, but DON’T bend forward because that will break your back”  Isn’t it funny!

He helps me with simple chores like wiping the vanity top in the bathroom, cleaning up bits and pieces of dirt on the floor with the handheld vacumm cleaner, folding his clean underwear and shorts when the laundry is done, helping with bringing groceries shopping from the car into the house, lining up his shoes neatly when he comes home from school, tidying up his room, getting himself dressed, organised before school, and not forgetting to make sure his sister stays out of mischief!  But sometimes I still need to nag him in the morning.

He is writing more confidently.  He is trying to read.   He loves drawing. His regular evening activities include drawing and reading.  His drawings are detailed, full of thoughts and stories.  And when he finished a drawing, he would think of a school friend to give to, I would then spell the name out for him while he writes it at the back of his drawings. 

(JD was stung by a wasp in school a few weeks back.  He had a vivid memory of the incident and this was what he thought a wasp look like).

I love him dearly and he is a very special boy to us.   I feel very blessed to have JD in my life, because his kindness and thoughtfulness made me realise what a special little boy he is.

We are slowly gearing up for baby no.3.  JD is very excited about a new sibling, whether it be a brother or sister for him.  I almost cried when he brought home a book he did from school last week.  Oh, JD, I love you so much.

(JD draw a picture of me on the bed ready for an ultrasound.  Standing next to the bed were daddy, him and Chloe.   He said “I like going to the doctor with my mum to see the baby.)

And here’s just JD being a foodie.  He loves his food.  When his teacher asked them to think of something about smell, that was what JD said “I like to smell chocolate mint ice cream and chocolate biscuits”.  They also have a cooking lesson once a week, and that’s one of his favourite session.