Being grateful can be a difficult attitude to have at times.  It can come both easily, effortlessly, but also often with great difficulty.  It becomes even more difficult when faced with multiple challenging circumstances, causing us to question the lessons to be learnt. 

Life has thrown us a few challenges in terms of financial and career difficulties in the last 2 years.  Every few months we find ourselves in the same situation, when career choices are being questioned, financial situations in doubt and the roller coaster of feelings, emotions that come with it.   I get tired of it after a while.

Most days, I really didn’t want to be here, to fix that breakfast for the kids, to bother about one’s hungry tummy, wiped that breakfast table, change that nappy, made that dinner, ironed the clothes, drove to school…I just want to find a place to hide and rest for a long time.   Hearing the kids licking the spoon and bowl from a delicious bowl of yoghurt makes me think how on earth they live so happily…while we constantly move from one challenges to another.

Surely they can feel it too!

Truth is they don’t.  Kids just live from one moment to the next.   That little bowl of yoghurt was enough to keep them happy for now, not how long it will keep them full.  It makes no sense to them they just had breakfast an hour ago, and is too soon to eat again!  To them,  is about satisfying that little hunger now.  Always just thinking about what they need most in this present moment. 

And that was what this morning’s meditation presented to me.

I read this morning simply by shifting my mindset to “living in the present moment” is a start.   Gratitude comes when we choose to live in the present, putting aside our ego of what we expected to be entitled to, what we wish for differently.

Instead focussing now on this present moment … which is right now I have the eyes to see the sun, the ears that hear the cricket chirping away and the noise of the plane that flew over the sky, my fingers that can type, the mind that reflects…suddenly I discover what I can be grateful for at this moment.

Truth is we will always have enough for now.  We are always given with what we need most in this present moment.  Not more, not less, but always sufficient.

We might be down in certain aspects of life, but we still have ENOUGH for now. 

But in learning about gratitude, I also find it is important to acknowledge the time when gratefulness does not come easily.   I let that feeling flow, acknowledging it.  Gratitude should come effortlessly without force.  It most probably resembles the law of least effort.

Because in the process of being ungrateful, I come to understand what it feels like, how negative it can make everything seems, how terrible it makes me feel and how unhappy I have become.  Because it then opens up my eyes to see,  finding books to read, approaching people to help …. and discovering there are better ways to think and act.

Thank you ungratefuness…for you have shown me more things in life I can be grateful for.

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