Update on Kids and Everything Else

I am slowly finding the mood and energy to blog.  The last two weeks have been a bit of a hit and miss, and whilst the first week of school holiday is almost over, I am also slowly finding the mood to write.

Jayden - 4 yrs 9 months

The beginning of the 2 weeks started with an accident at home involving JD.  My son has always had some form of allergies since he was a young infant.  When he was 13 months old, he had a severe reaction to eggs when we tried it at home.  That was only a quarter teasppon of egg then.  Since then, we have stayed away from eggs.  Also because of his allegies, we also later found out he is severely allergic to all kind of nuts.

We have had zero incidents since he was first confirmed with allergies.  Over the years, we have talked to him about his allergies, raising his awareness, getting him to question everything that was given to him, and even when attending parties and social gatherings, he has since learnt to ask “Excuse me, have this got eggs and nuts in it?”.  If so, he has learnt to walk away from the food gracefully without a fuss.  We are always careful if someone next to him might be eating an omelette or a peanut butter sandwich.  We have to make sure there’s absolutely no skin contact at all.

But 2 weeks ago, while we were making pizza for dinner, JD joined in to help.  I decided to try the new jar of sundried tomato pesto my husband bought from the supermarket.  JD asked if he could try the pesto and without thinking twice I just said “yes”.  So he dip a teaspoon into the pesto and had a taste.  Then he helped himself to the pineapples I have put in a bowl.  He liked it.  Well, 10-15 mins later, he came to me and said “Mummy, my tummy feels really full.” So I got him to lie down and he lost interest over the pizza even when it was done.  10 mins later when I checked on him, he had hives coming out around his mouth.  I knew straight away it was an allergic reaction and gave him 5 ml of antihistamine.

I thought it was the pineapples that gave the reaction.  And I also thought the antihistamine would take effect real soon.  But 10 mins later, he was getting really uncomfortable and itchy.  Then he started to cough, his face turned bright red.  He kept saying to me “Mum, I want to go see a doctor.”

It was Sunday night, 7pm, raining, windy and cold.  Most doctor surgeries are shut.  A minute later, he coughed again and this time he really didn’t look well.  So I grabbed my bag, keys, wallet, left Chloe with my husband whilst I calmly drove to the closest hospital and within the speed limit.   I didn’r rush as the road was wet.

In my mind, I was rehearsing the whole CPR procedure I have learned.   Because as you know, when a person has severe allergies, they go into an anaphylatic shock, their airways get swollen and that could impair their breathing.  It was just a 5 mins drive to the hospital but I kept talking to him, listening out to him as I couldn’t turn to look at JD.  When we got there, JD was in a good spirit.  He even sang to me “Mummy, we gotta run run run, run as fast as you can…”. 

I guess everything happened at the right timing.  5 minutes arriving at the hospital, JD went into a severe shock, his whole face turned red, puffy, his lips swelled up, his body was hot, full body shaking, he had hives everywhere all over his body, he couldn’t stop scratching.  The nurse let us in quickly and JD was given all 5 different drugs to prevent his body from going into further shock. 

The doctor had to give him 2 needles in his bum, and man, as much as he hated it, crying out to me “Mummy, I don’t want the needles”.  Like every parent in similar circumstance, I succumb all my energy and faith, stripped down his pants, held him down and said to him while looking straight into his eyes “Jayden, I am not going to hurt you, I just want to help you get better.”

He stopped crying instantly and 2 needles went in.  Then there were 3 other medications he had orally.  40 minutes later, he was completely knocked out by the drugs, and fell asleep.  We kept him there under observation for a few hours and it was close to midnight when I came home with JD and went to bed.  His body shivered all night due to the shock.

Chloe and my husband were worried and did not go to bed till we were home.  Incidentally, my mobile phone also went flat whilst we were at the hospital. 

I slept a little that night.  The next day, my mind was all over the place.  I so wanted to talk to someone.  My hubby had to be away for a conference for the next 2 days.  I kept thinking of what food have caused the allergies.  After one morning, I realised it wasn’t the pineapples.  It was the sundried tomato pesto.  Like all pesto, which I have learned now, consists of cashews and pinenuts.  Yikes.  I held my breath for a while, but also breath a sigh of relief because at least it wasn’t a new allergen. 

Later that day, I sat down and calmly explained to JD about the incident.  I said to him it wasn’t the pineapples, but the sundried tomato pesto that caused his allergies that night.  I said it has cashew nuts and pinenuts in it which I did not realise.  Therefore the unfortunate incident and I was glad and proud of the fact that he knew his body wasn’t feeling right and insisted on seeing a doctor. 

That was 2 weeks ago now.  I did not blame myself for the incident and neither did I embark on the guilt trip.  Because the main thing is I identified the reaction, followed up with the necessary actions, got to the doctor at the right time, JD got treated and recovered.  It’s important that as mothers we do not blame ourselves, because we can be on that guilt trip forever.  So whilst at the hospital, I told myself in words “Pris, you are not going to blame yourself for this.”   Because knowing myself, if I have blamed myself, my week would just go downhill from there.  So I had to stop the guilt trip before it started.

It was just more of the shock and lesson I learnt that shook me up a little bit and left me feeling slightly disoriented for a number of days.

For now, he is back to normal.  I still carry the Epipen (adrenaline shot for allergic reaction in times of emergency) with me everywhere I go, continuing to check all labels, checking the food when we dine out…

JD is due for another allergies follow up in August.  Oh, and we also since consulted a naturopath about his allergies condition, and JD is now on a health kick diet of NO corn, maize, cow’s milk based product, chocolates and white flour.

Here’s a shot of the Ninja JD snacking on a big bowl of fruit salad for his afternoon tea.

So in the last weekend, I spent 2 hours in the supermarket studying every food label, buying brown rice milk, stocking up on more wholemeal flour, wholemeal pasta, wholemeal cereals, brown rice, thinking creatively of healthy snacks that don’t use any of the above. 

He is doing very well.  On his last day of term 2, his teacher gave each of them a Freddo frog chocolate.  He gladfully handed it to me, said he would swap the chocolate for somethingelse.  Another day someone offered him a glass of bottled orange juice, he politely declined and said “No thanks, I don’t need it.” 

Chloe - 1 more day to turning 2

Chloe, apart from her snooty nose is doing fine. 

She said some funny things.  The other morning, upon hearing the rain, she exclaimed out loud, and this time in Mandarin:

“妈咪， 滴滴嗒嗒， 滴滴嗒嗒， 下雨了”！

She is talking well, very chatty, very curious, very friendly, love her brother, love her friends that come around everyday.

Her favourite saying in the morning is “Wake up mummy, good morning mummy, wake up 哥哥， good morning 哥哥， bye bye daddy!”

Sometimes she sounds like the DJ greeting us on the radio station, hee!

She rushed to the gate every morning, reporting back to me whom have arrived.  She run to the children, saying “Hello, good morning” really really close to their face.  She knows every child by their name.  When it’s home time for the other children, she knows to pick up the right bag, right water bottle, right shoes for the right kid.  She is quite an observant child, watches every move around her, and imitate.  Oh, she is funny.

She is also Miss Independent at this age.  She has to try everything herself.  Climbing into the car and her car seat.  Putting on her own shoes.  Taking off her own clothes.  Undoing her own nappy.  Pouring milk into her cereal bowl in the morning.  So to not crush her desire to be independent, I let her do most things but by factor in extra 10 minutes into most things so that we won’t be late for school, appointments and etc.  That way, there’s not much frustration involved, she gets to learn, I am on time and it works out well.

She is turning 2 tomorrow.  2 years old she is going to be.  Not a baby, but still the baby in our house :) 

Some cupcakes we baked earlier in the week to celebrate with all her friends.  These cakes, apart from the icing, are super healthy as it’s made with wholemeal flour, no eggs, olive oil, and very very litle sugar.

Me

Oh, I am okay.  Tired some days that’s how I would put it. 

My mum asked me to drink chicken essence which I have been faithfully doing.  But I need to go see my herbalist for hebs to supplement my qi.  I am feeling quite depleted of it lately. 

I was very moody and tired the weekend just past.  I felt drained.  Somehow as the school term ended, my whole body also felt the need to rest and recharge.   I was tired of looking after so many children in a week.  They have all been incredibly demanding and challenging. 

So to sort out my messy thoughts, I cleaned out my children’s clothes from new born to now and was shock at how much clothes they have.  With a boy and a girl, there’s almost double of everything.  I have cleared it all, some pass onto friends that are expecting, some to charity, some I kept for keepsake. 

I don’t want to put a pic of me up here yet because 1.  I need to go trim my eyebrow 2.  My hair needs a cut and perm again.  Yes, look is still important to me

As a family 

We are going away on a short trip tomorrow, 4 days 3 nights somewhere down south.  We just booked the accommodation 2 hours ago and I hope for a good break.

 

A Special Reward

A week ago, just after the last kid had left, JD would go out to check the letter box.  Among all the bills, supermarket catalogues, local newspapers he brought back in, we also found a hard A4 envelope.  I left it all on the kitchen table, didn’t think much about it until that night when I sat down to check all the mail.

Just as well I haven’t ripped the big A4 envelope apart in all four corners, because in there was a little surprise.

A surprise that came in a reward, a reward that made me realised “It has all  been worth it”.  An encouragement for myself that I must have done something right.  And I can proudly say now maybe I don’t suck so much in running my own family daycare and looking after 4-5 little children everyday by myself. 

It was a certificate to say I have been nominated in the category of “Childcare Worker of the Year”.  I was like a little school girl proudly showing off my certificate to my husband, the same kind of satisfaction we received as a kid when we were the student of the year or some sort, though I was never. 

But I was definitely doing the “punch in the air” move!

Then, I also realised, without the parents, I would not have received this special certificate.  So I have been fortunate to have parents of the children I look after to nominate me…. it was very nice and encouraging. 

So 10 months into this career change, it has been a great effort and I hope it stays that way. 

 

Parenting: Superwoman Isn’t Cool

Some time ago, I began to realise and accept that I have too many things to do and handle in a day.  I work 4 days a week, most days from 8am to 5.30pm.  Whilst I run my own family daycare, a one man show no doubt, being my own boss, the truth is, sometimes the flexibility of working to my own hours, or the needs of my family is easier said than done.  And before I know, I came to see that while working for myself is great, it is very easy to fall into a trap of overworking beyond the hours I have set for myself.

So, more often than not, I start to yearn for more hours in a day, for more energy so that I could do more or simply to just do catching up.  The truth is I was struggling to keep up with all that I have to do, run, achieve in a day.  I started to notice myself falling behind a lot of my tasks, constantly trying to catch up when things around me are moving faster than I want.

Housework was one area where I just could not keep up with.  The bedrooms, changing sheets, bathrooms, the toilets, the vacuuming, moping, laundry, ironing, tidying up, cleaning up.  And as we know children are dirty by nature.  They are constantly messy.  So cleaning really needs to be done.  I am not particular about complete cleanliness, but maintaining a clean and safe environment is a primary requirement for running a daycare.

While I do the necessities, other house work were left on the back burners.  At one stage, for weeks, I have baskets of clean laundry sitting at the room waiting for me to fold and put away.  Honestly, my kids were becoming used to picking their clean clothes straight out from the laundry basket!  I was just short of asking my kids to turn their undies inside out so they can wear it one more day, haha, kidding!     

Then there was planning the meals every week.  I look after 4 to 5 children a day in my family daycare and I also provide them with lunch and snacks.  So I always cook extra the night before and have the extras for lunch the next day.  That requires me to plan and shop every week.  With that meal planning, I have to make sure we have enough dairy, calcium, protein, carbo, fruits and vegies in their tums tums each week.   I must admit some nights I get so tired, that I really didn’t feel like cooking at all.

Some nights I just want to have take outs, KFC or anything just so that I didn’t need to cook.

Then there’s the garden that needs to be kept tidy.  Sweeping the yard is something I will do only when it really needs to be done.  Still, it needs to be done.

Or car washing.  Oh, I don’t like this job because I have got a big car.  The last time I washed, dry, waxed, polished, vacuumed the car…..it took me a whole 3 hours!  Yes one afternoon gone.

Then there’s also paperwork.  Paperwork of my family daycare business, the quarterly tax statement, the bills, the receipts, notes to parents, update on each child’s development and etc.  

Not fortgetting also writing up, planning the weekly daycare programme.  The theme, the arts and craft activities, the learning session, the language lesson and so forth.  It’s a legislated requirement that we provide a complete programme of play and learn experience, which takes into account of all the skills a child need.  Whilst I have lots of resources for me to pick my ideas, but it takes time and energy to carefully plan out a programme that cater for a child’s need for indoor, outdoor experience, opportunity for them to develop their fine, gross motor skills, spatial awareness, logic, maths, science and so forth.

Then there are other things like coaching JD with his learning, writing, reading and making sure we have a right balance between learn and play.  On top of that there’s swimming, gymnastics which I try to fit in around my working hours and somehow they either all fall into my off day or half of Saturday morning.

There is really a lot to do, to think, to manage and handle every day, every week, every month.  Too much I must say.  I started to struggle.  Really struggle.  I get frustrated with myself for not being able to gain some form of control.  By nature, I am organised, efficient and I get the jobs done.  But it became all a bit much lately.

So, in the last 4-5 months, I started to struggle.  I just could not keep up with it.  My plate was too full, and I became lost.  Paperwork, bills, notes, unopened letters started piling up.  Clutters started to appear.  I lost the time to catch up on emails, with friends and I became very tired.  Instead of working 4 days a week, it became like 7 days a week.  It wasn’t good.  It was affecting me badly.  I no longer enjoyed it. 

So, in the last holiday when I had some time to think, plan, reorganise…I decided that I need to regain some control!  But I can’t regain it, if I don’t ask for help.  So I did.  I decided to delegate some tasks to various people that are paid to do their jobs well.

I called up a house cleaning agency.  I got 2 ladies out to my place and gave me house a big spring clean from head to toe, every surfaces, cupboards, shelves wipe, every inch of carpet vacummed, every tiles washed and moped…it was good.  And now, every fortnight, the 2 ladies come with their buckets, mops, while I go out of the house for 2 hours!  And they also iron the husband’s business shirts for me, yay!  The feeling of coming back to a clean home is great.  But what makes it even greater was I now have 2 bonus hours to do something else when I would have used it for cleaning previously. 

The truth is also I never had to clean my own office when I was working for someone else previously.  Now that home is my work, my office, the same should apply.  So that was what I did.  And I felt quite liberated when I did it.

As for my garden, my usual lawnmower guy will do the clean up for me when it is needed. 

My car, it’s time to call up the same guy that I have called previously to come back.  With 3 hours of car washing, I could use that time for something better.  Like reading a book, playing with my kids, go to the gym, go for a massage..or just sit around and do nothing.  That would be good.

Now, I could use it to catch up on the paperwork, a bit more time and energy to plan the weeks ahead, some time to stop and chat, catching up on emails, phone calls. 

But one good thing also is I am not this over tired, knackered, exhausted mum, wife half slumped on the couch in the evening…I could watch a show, a movie with my husband, chat about the funny things that happened during the day, laughed at the kids, read them a few books, read a book myself, have a cuddle, share a kiss, eat a tub of ice cream with the husband…rather than just going off to bed not long after the kids. 

On a more serious note….

The lesson learn is you don’t have to do everything yourself.  And it is okay if you are struggling as a mum.  It is also very okay, infact perfectly fine to ask someone for help or pay someone to do the job for you.  As women, by nature, we can become quite good at taking on lots of responsibilities and running with it.  We always have this list of things to do.  We always want to be on top of everything.  Better at everything we do.  Everything home made, home cooked crap.  We want to make sure everyone is happy and taken care of.  Perhaps deep down we are just going to crash, but we still keep it all together and make it work.  As women, wives, mothers, we run the house, we know where everything is, all programmed into our minds.  We are good at that.  We persevere, and the most, we whinge to a friend when it all gets too much.  And we throw a big tantrum before each monthly cycle.  But that cycle remains.

Fact is we can’t be good at everything.  We also can’t be perfect at everything.  Likewise, I am not perfect, because I don’t need to be perfect.  And if I am perfect, what pressure I am going to give to the other woman, mum next to me, because perhaps she is already feeling quite stress and overwhelmed by things around her.  That’s a realization I came to see recently.

So the truth is we are all limited in some ways.  I am limited.  I can’t do everything.  And if I don’t stop and breath, I would be burnt out in no time.  And I was already feeling it.

All this does not mean that my husband isn’t pulling his weight.  He try.  He takes the kids out regularly and give me a break.  He is a good man.  But he is already spending an average of 10-12 hours a day at work everyday, managing a group of people, I really can’t see how he would enjoy folding the clothes, washing the toilets, vacumming my car and etc for me.  Sometimes his day is no different to mine managing a group of 2,3,4 yo kids, just that his were the 20, 30, 40 yo kids!  They are all the same!

Finally, I made the decision.  Delegate, spend some cash and that buys me a bit of spare time and stress relief.

Importantly, I rewarded myself with a gift of time.  A reward for my own inadequacy and inability to be all I like to be.   And I look at that positively.

 

Crab Festival 2008

A weekend ago, we went back to the Mandurah Crab Festival.  It was one of those Saturdays when we didn’t plan much and then at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, we just packed the kids into the car and off we went. 

A year on from the last time we went, Chloe is older and has a lot more hair, hahaha!  Looking at her photos from that post a year ago, I just realised again she is growing up too quickly, oh, how I miss her being a baby! 

It was nice going there in the evening, we strolled along the canal, enjoyed the seabreeze, let the kids had loads of fun, having a go at all sorts of games…a great way to enjoy a weekend evening. 

I had to smile when I saw Chloe riding in the car with JD.  She was just like her brother at that age, always wanting to have a go and seeing her sitting so comfortably at the back just made me laughed!  That’s a joy of parenthood and I am so thankful to enjoy these little moments.  Oh, I so love the both of them.

We walked, we ate, we watched the sunset, we lied down on the grass, watched the clouds. 

After the sun set, and as the sky darkened, we were treated to a great show of fireworks.  It was good fun.

Both kids fell asleep on the 1hr drive home, continued to sleep through the night till 8am the next day!

 

Reminder at sunrise…

On a quiet morning, at 6am, I checked on the kids before heading out for my morning walk …. I saw the sun slowly rising for a new day, a new week…and I am reminded of the 3 love of my life. 

I love them all, so much everyday.

 

It isn’t Chinese New Year without…

Pineapple Tarts!!!!!!! 

Yes, this is a must have.  I like them, but I have never made them myself.  So this year, I spent my Sunday afternoon, when it’s 37 deg c outside, with the house air-conditioning fully turned on, I decided to make some pineapple tarts for fun.  Talk about being environmental un-friendly and me being crazy! 

Ohhh, Pineapple Tarts, the aroma from the oven was enough to bring on the atmosphere, albeit only a little bit from where we are.  The kids were just excited with the fact that mommy was baking again and JD kept coming in and out of the kitchen just to pinch the pineapple jam and have a bit of the fresh flaky biscuit pastry.

I was pretty generous with the pineapple filling.  My sister P laughed saying that “If I try selling my pineapple tarts for a living, I would be bankrupt.”  Obviously, with such generous filling, I would need to sell at a premium price to break even, haha!

Can you smell Chinese New Year from where you are?  Or smell the cookies at least, hee? 

This year I have become even more nostalgic by decorating my house with all new year decorations!  Actually, I just want the kids to enjoy it.  I just want to see the little faces staring into the red decorations, swaying to the air from the air-conditioning, lanterns hanging around in the backyard and on the trees in the garden…seeing the lanterns “dancing” to the wind in the evening was rather nice.

Though far from home….the meaning and atmosphere can always be created.

I do miss home terribly during CNY, and I miss it even more yesterday afternoon when I was baking the cookies.  Because I could just imagine the fun we would have if we bake this in my mum’s kitchen, my mum, all the sisters together, chatting away, my dad probably would enjoy all the cookies …and no doubt I would have lots of babysitters around, hee!

 

Time alone by chance

Tonight I had the very rare chance of having some time alone.  It wasn’t planned but just happened that I had 3 hours all to myself in the evening.  I left JD and Chloe with my hubby while I went out for my acupuncture in the evening.  Being daylight saving, it was still bright when I finished close to 8pm.  I rang the husband as soon as I finished and found out that he has caught the train with the 2 kids into the city!

We love the new southern train line, and Phil has taken JD on the train a few times and kids just simply love the experience.  We can forget about driving into the city, leave the car at home, and we are in the city in 12 minutes!

As for me, I drove to the nearest cafe strip I could locate, parked the car, and walked into a restaurant asking for a “Table for one”.  Yep, just me, alone.  It was a much needed break especially when I felt all relaxed and calm after laying on the acupuncture table for over an hour.

I ate my meal in peace, watching the cars and people, enjoying the evening breeze, listening to the live music…oh, it was good for a tired soul after a few very hectic weeks.

I had a lovely dinner of lamb shanks with roasted potatoes, before finishing off with a yummy creme caramel dessert.  To be honest, I found the portions big or my appetite has really shrunk over the years.  I couldn’t take a picture of the yummy food, well, because I was initially only going out for acupuncture and wasn’t going to take a picture of myself with needles sticking out everywhere, hee!

And in the evening of kids-free, silence, calmness, I have one thing to be thankful for and that was Phil’s spontaniety.  The fact that he is always keen to take care of the 2 kids, jumping on the train with the 2 kids after a quick dinner, not afraid of bringing them out alone, going places that he knows would bring the kids most fun.  And while some may think twice about doing that, Phil’s philosophy is always “Why not?  They will enjoy it!” 

I am very thankful for that because Phil is a very hands-on dad.   And because of that the kids just love having him around!

 

Cooking: Lobster Mornay

This is the 2nd time I make this.  The first time was 2 years ago, when newly pregnant with Chloe and during my sister’s visit to Perth on Christmas Eve. 

Last week, I saw some frozen lobster at the seafood shop, bought 4 at $14 each, and make this yummy lobster again.  The sauce is rich, so half a lobster is usually enough for me.   My husband, my MIL and JD finsihed all the rest, burp!

For recipe, please visit here.

After dinner, Phil and JD had a game on Wii with Chloe joining in by cheering them on and MIL laughing her head off watching the 3 of them.  As for me, I went back to the kitchen to ice this gingerbread biscuits.

 

The Kitchen Story - Part 6 - 80% done

This is our new kitchen that we have been happily using for the last 2 weeks.

And see the transformation from this…it’s amazing.  The new kitchen is brighter, bigger and I love it!  The whole house looks and feels different with the new kitchen.

It has been so well designed, and working in this new kitchen has just been such a bliss.  It was all a a bery unfamiliar term the designer first mentioned building a ”functional” kitchen for us.

However, in the last 2 weeks, I fully understand what she means by a functional kitchen.  Everything I need, from the pots, wok, utensils, sauces, plates, bowls and etc is all easily accessible without me having to bend over, or stretching my arms reaching deep into the cabinets to access anything at all.  It is one of the best things we have done to our home.

And the dishwasher, oh yes, it has been a bliss too!  All I did in the last 2 weeks was scraping off any food bits from the plate, give it a quick rinse and put it into the dishwasher.  We have no more dirty dishes piling up in the sink, and after dinner each night,  with the push of a button, the dishes get washed and dried!  Brilliant!  For the time I previously spend in washing the dishes each day, I could have a cup of tea, put the laundry in, catch up on emails, blogging, build blocks with my kids, read them more stories and have more fun!

It’s 80% done because we are yet to replace the current lighting with downlights and the glass splashback will be installed in the new year.

As for now, it is looking great, works wonderfully well for us all, and I am looking forward to cooking, baking more wonderful meals, cakes, cookies….good times ahead!

 

Family Time

I have said this a few times before, but 2007 really has been a big year for us.  My husband and I have both been so busy with work of our own, home duties, children’s activities, family commitments and etc etc.  Sometimes our own family time is compromised as a result, and is not always a good thing.  But then again, we are just 2 individuals trying to fit so much into our lives and sometimes there’s really not much we can do about!

So when we can, and is usually an impromptu thing.  We will ring up one another, meet each other from different ends of town and ended up together at the same place for dinner!  Afterall, a family that eats together stays together, hee!

We went out to Madmonk again last week, we enjoyed ourselves, kids love their meals. 

JD kept playing with my camera and managed to take a decent shot of me!

After dinner, Phil brought JD to Timezone for a play.

Whilst I sat next door at the Gelatino outlet having an ice cream with Chloe!